STUFF YOU GOTTA WATCH

MOONRAKER

Oh, I will kill you, Mr. Bond, but first... Darjeeling?

(1979)
With Roger Moore, Lois Chiles, Michael Lonsdale, Richard Kiel, Corrine Clery, Bernard Lee, Desmond Llewelyn, Lois Maxwell
Directed by Lewis Gilbert
Reviewed by JL and JB

Oh dear. What can you say about a film that has James Bond engaged in outer-space laser battles and the giant steel-toothed villain Jaws romancing Pippi Longstocking's big sister? The strangest Bond film of them all, MOONRAKER plays like a self-parody of the Roger Moore years. (It also used to be the most outrageous Bond film, but DIE ANOTHER DAY now holds that distinction.) On the plus side, at least the jokes this time around appear to have been written by someone who knew how to write jokes, and the film itself never drags. And Hugo Drax, the ultimate put-Bond-in-a-death-machine villain, has a few Dr. Evil-type lines that rank up there with Auric Goldfinger's "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!" (such as "At last I shall have the pleasure of putting you out of my misery!"). But while it may be possible to enjoy MOONRAKER if you're in the right frame of mind, even the producers realized they went too far this time and brought Bond back to his roots for the next film, FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. - JL

Hugo Drax is a great Bond villain in the classic "I talk in a low voice and walk with my hands behind my back because I'm so confident that my evil chicanery will work" mode. The trouble is, he doesn't belong in this movie. He belongs in DR. NO, FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE or FOR YOUR EYES ONLY or one of the quieter Bond films. He's overwhelmed in this one by all the Mack Sennett gags and NEVER GIVE A SUCKER AN EVEN BREAK chases. You can't have him, Jaws, and James Bond in outer space all in the same film and expect it to make any sense. - JB

HOW TO TALK LIKE A BOND VILLAIN

"Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you."