 Stuff You Gotta
Watch'sNEWS ON THE MARCH THE HOLLYWOOD REVUE OF 2008In retrospect, 2008 was a lot like 2007 at The Stuff You Gotta Watch, except it was one year later, and we were all a little bit older and a little bit slower. Not much changed - there were approximately 567 super hero blockbusters released to the movies theaters, 738 new reality shows unleashed on television and 698 drunk driving incidents by stars. For more of what happened in 2008, at this site anyway, see below. |
SCI-FI HOTTIE OF THE YEAR: SUMMER GLAUAs our great uncle Murray once said, just before they administered the lethal chemical cocktail, it is always good to start things off with a beautiful woman. We nominated actress Summer Glau back in February for our Sci-Fi Hottie of the Year, but we knew even then, as we know now, that she would win hands down. We just didn't want to say it to give the illusion that this was actually going to be a fair contest. BEAM ME UP, HOTTIE - February
We have a little space to add some filler, so here
is a
nomination for Sci-Fi Hottie of 2008: Summer Glau of TV's Terminator:
The Sarah Conner
Chronicles. Or
whatever it's called.
Formerly of TV's Firefly, its feature film Serenity
and TV's The 4400,
Ms. Glau is officially a modern day Sci-Fi icon. And
officially a
Sci-Fi Hottie. And, as we all know, Sci-Fi Hotties make the
world go 'round.
Along with God, gravity and stuff. BEAM ME UP, HOTTIE 2008 - November
She's a protogé of Joss Whedon, having begun her
television career as a one-shot character on Whedon's Angel.
She then played River in the short-lived but well-loved Firefly
as well as the movie Serenity. She's been in such shows as The Unit, The
4400 and CSI,
but is now famous for playing terminator and John Connor protector
Cameron Phillips on The
Sarah Connor Chronicles.
She's Summer Glau, and she's the winner of this year's Second
Annual Stuff You Gotta Watch's Second Annual "Six of One,
Seven
of Nine of Another" Sci-Fi Hottie of the Year award, known in the
industry as the "Jeri". She now joins Battlestar Galactica's Grace Park
in our our Beam Me Up, Hottie Hall of Fame. We are sure they
are
both really proud of this accomplishment. At least we hope they are.
I know we would be. If we were in any way talented,
beautiful and famous and had our own sci-fi TV show. Which,
as
far as we know, we aren't and don't. |
|
HEATHER MILLS, QUOTE OF THE YEAR
NOMINEE
Ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney "I am very, very, very happy. I was always going to get between $40 and $60 million, but Sir Paul was offering much less than that. The judge said Paul was only worth $800 million, but everyone has known he has been worth $1.6 billion for the last 15 years." It is heartbreaking stuff like this that inspired this site to tag Ms. Mills with the endearing nickname "Stumpy McAlimony". - Editors |
|
A word from Science and Technology Editor General Krankor SCIENCE IS FUN:
R.I.P.H.D.D.V.D.
|
| YOU'RE
NOT EVEN THE BEST QUAID BROTHER! DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL RANDY?
You would think that an actor whose screen credits
include The Adventures
of Pluto Nash and the
straight-to-DVD National Lampoon Christmas
Vacation 2 would be
thankful just to be working.
Actor Randy Quaid, who was set to star in the Broadway-bound Lone Star
Love, has
been banned for life by Actors Equity Association and fined 81
thousand dollars for verbal abuse and other antics. All 26
cast
members - repeat - all
26 cast members
- brought charges against him, claiming his unprofessional conduct
caused the show to be shut down, ruining any chance of it ever getting
to Broadway. Which answers that age old question heard from
New
York tourists every day: How do you get to Broadway? Don't
hire
Randy Quaid. |
 $HE'$
A WOMAN WHO UNDER$TAND$Sir Paul McCartney is becoming a recurring character in our News on the March section, mostly because whenever he makes the news, it gives us an opportunity to create humorous lists for your entertainment pleasure. And in 2008, he made the news with his high-profile divorce of Heather Mills. We were firmly on Sir Macca's side on this one, but that didn't stop us from trotting out lame Ringo jokes and what-not. WILL YOU
STILL NEED ME, WILL YOU STILL FEED ME?
|
YOU
CAN CALL HIM BOBBY, YOU CAN CALL HIM ZIMMY "Legendary
rock and roll songwriter Bob Dylan has won a Pulitzer Prize for his
life's work. When asked what he thought of the honor, Bob
said...
well, we don't know what he said, but we assume he mumbled something
incomprehensible and walked away mysteriously......" - April |
| OUT
WITH THE YOUNGER, IN WITH THE YOUNGER It's no secret that this page, and its webmasters, love the Scarlett Johansson. Collectively, we've only seen a handful of movies starring the Scarlett Johansson, but that doesn't stop us from mention the Scarlett every chance we can get, or putting up a picture of the Scarlett whenever there's a lull in news. So imagine our shock and dismay when we heard that the Scarlett Johansson was being replaced in a movie because she was too old! We almost deleted this entire site and retired to a monestary, except that we tried on the robes and we looked silly. Admittedly, we think the Scarlett's reported replacement in the movie, Emma "Hermione" Watson, is a very nice, lovely, down to earth girl and we're happy to see that she's building a non-Harry Potter career, but... the Scarlett too old? Codswallop!
Today is the saddest day in Hollywood history.
Scarlett
Johansson, all of 23, was slated to star in Napoleon
& Betsy,
the story of a young woman (we presume her name was Betsy) who falls in
love the with exiled but lovable Napoleon Bonaparte on the Isle of
Lucy... er... Elba. But it was decided that Miss Scarlett
was... was...
it's so hard to say... too old! There! We've said
it. So now, it is
rumored she is being replaced in the film by Harry Potter actress Emma
Watson, who, as of this writing, has been 18 for, oh, fifteen minutes
or so. This news is disturbing in two ways. First, the
thought that
Hollywood now thinks Scarlett Johansson is now too
old to play a young
woman!? Secondly, Emma
Watson, that cute little
bushy-haired moppet
from Harry Potter
and The Sorcerer's Stone,
is already an adult!?
Move
over, Scarlett - now we feel old too. |
|
An editorial
from General Krankor. THAT'S ALL I CAN
STANDS!
|
| A
NOVEL IDEA. BAD, BUT NOVEL "It warms our hearts to find out that Hollywood is finally once again making a movie out of a classic novel rather than a comic book. In the works from Screen Gems is a new big screen version of Jane Austen's Emma. Wait... what?.... oh, it's going to be a "hip-hop reimagining" of the novel. Because we always needed one of those. Can't wait for the sequel: 50 Cent and Sensibility..." - April |
WITH TWENTY
POUNDS OF HEADLINES STAPLED TO HIS CHEST
If Hope Springs
Eternal, What Does Crosby Spring? |
|
ROBERT
IGER QUOTE OF THE YEAR NOMINEE
Disney Bigshot "I love classic Mickey, but he needs to evolve to be relevant to new generations of kids." And by "evolve" we can assume Iger means "bastardized" and "ruined." We can easily imagine an anime Mickey with samurai sword and futuristic jet pack. - Editors |
"Movie mogul Jeffrey
Katzenberg on George Lucas's plan to turn
his
classic original Star Wars trilogy into 3D movies: ' He isn't going to
put a product out, I think, that isn't anything other than first
rate.'" (Editor's note: Except, of course, for those three
Star
Wars Prequels, and Clone Wars, and More American Grafitti, and The Star
Wars Christmas Special...) " |
|
JEFFREY
CONRAD QUOTE OF THE YEAR NOMINEE
Designer, American Greetings Cards, on the new improved Strawberry Shortcake "We're downplaying characters that were part of Strawberry's world but who didn't immediately shout out fruit." We just found this funny. - Editors |
Just Two Bald Guys Chillin' Out, YoA trip to a Sci-Fi Convention lead to an unexpected meeting for one of the webmasters of this site.. IT'S THE PRINCIPAL OF THE THING - May
So here I am (on the right, with beard), standing next to
actor
Armin Shimerman (on the left, without), known to many as Principal
Snyder from Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
known to many more as Quark the Ferengi from Star
Trek,
and known to his friends and family as Armin. How I
came to
meet this friendly and forgiving science fiction and fantasy icon is a
story unto itself, a story as timeless as Dickens' A Christmas
Carol, as
surprising as O'Henry's The Gift of
the Magi and as
insightful as Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird.
Okay, it's a story with none of those qualities, but it's my
site
and I can say what I want. So read all about it in the
article "How
To Insult a Ferengi on $40 a Day"
in our Ready for the Closeup
section. You'll be glad you did. Or not.
And that
"on the
right, on the left thing" just means who is standing where in the
picture. It doesn't mean where we stand politically.
We're
not going to be new Hannity and Colmes or anything like that.
(But that would be cool, wouldn't it?) - JB |
| POP
GO THE WEASELS We couldn't even believe this story ourselves. HOW ABOUT BANNING PEOPLE WHO TALK BACK TO THE SCREEN INSTEAD? - August
Not satisfied with
taking balloons away from clowns and stripping Santa Claus of
everything that makes him endearing, over in Jolly Old England, there
is now a debate on whether to ban popcorn at movie theaters.
On the "Wow, you're kind of crazy" side of the things,
we agree with writer Sarah Dobbs over at Den of Geek: "I can complain
about things with the best of them, but I can't imagine the sort of
state of mind one would need to be in to go and complain about popcorn.
Seriously? What is it actually doing to you, to make you that
angry?". On the anti-popcorn side of the debate, we have
Nicholas
Kent, artistic director of the upscale Tricycle cinema: "Popcorn is
horrible stuff and I won't have it anywhere near my cinema... It's a
form of junk food and that encourages junk entertainment. Its smell is
all-pervasive, it makes huge amounts of mess, and it distracts and
annoys people intensely." O-tay, Mr. Kent. Just relax and put down that
synthetic butter dispenser before somebody gets hurt.
While SYGW
appreciates insanity as much as any other site, we cannot abide by any
decision anywhere to ban popcorn at the movies. And we are
certain that such an attitude will never come to The United States.
Which means that our Congress is probably working on a
bill right now to ban it. |
|
JOHN
KRICFALUSI QUOTE OF THE YEAR NOMINATIONS
Animator (Ren and Stimpy) "When I was a kid, I would only color in coloring books that starred cartoon characters. Any other kind of coloring book was a lie, created by monsters who hated kids." "2-D [animation] developed at an incredible pace. From Steamboat Willie to Snow White in 9 years. [Computer Graphic Animation] to me anyway, is still crawling its way towards Steamboat Willie." John K runs an excellent website about animation called All Kinds of Stuff. He's always saying smart stuff. Too smart to be our Quote of the Year, unfortunately. See our links section. - Editors |
|
No smart-aleck headlines, no fancy-schmancy words, just this - we love Christina Applegate.  A BEAUTIFUL
SHINING STAR - AugustWe often make fun of stars here in the News on the March Column because... well, seriously, we don't have to explain that, do we? But once in a while, a story comes along that puts things in perspective and reminds us that celebrities are real people too, and like the rest of us they sometimes don't deserve what happens to them. Such is the case with actress Christina Applegate, best remembered as the airheaded Kelly Bundy on the television show Married with Children. Diagnosed with breast cancer at age 36, she recently underwent a double mastectomy and is now cancer-free. What touched News on the March is her attitude, summed up in her own words: "I love living, and I really love my life, and I knew that from this moment on it was only going to be good that was going to be coming. Yeah, I'll face challenges, but you can't get any darker than where I've been. So knowing that in my soul gave me the strength to just say, `I have to get out there and make this a positive."' Ms. Applegate is now starting a program to help at-risk women cover the cost of MRIs. Such an upbeat, positive, constructive attitude truly moves us and we just want to take the opportunity to say, in all seriousness - God bless you, Christina! |
SOME NEW SECTIONS OPENED ON THIS
SITE IN 2008:  The Silent Clowns, Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese, Jimmy Stewart, Walt Disney, Billy Wilder, Contemporary, Uke Can Do It! |
| Qu'est-ce Qe Tu Fais, Jenny Mon Amour?
LEAVE JENNIFER ALONE! - August We love our Jennifers here at The Stuff You Gotta Watch.
Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Garner, the early Jennifer Lopez,
Jennifer Jason Leigh... it's all good. And when somebody attacks
a Jennifer, they attack Stuff You Gotta Watch. So this message is for TV's Project Runway
fashion guru Tim Gunn - leave Jennifer Aniston alone. The webmasters of
SYGW have adored Miss Aniston for quite a while, and, we confess, we
are huge fans of the sitcom Friends.
Mr. Gunn recently said that Jennifer Aniston's fashion choices make her
look "desperate" and "high maintenence". Funny, whenever we
come across pictures of Jennifer Aniston in the papers, she is usually
clad in a simple top and a pair of jeans, an image which doesn't really
make us think desperate or high maintenence. In fact, it often
makes us think "Oooh, pretty!". So let this be a warning, Mr.
Gunn - lay off Jennifer Aniston, or we will stop watching Project Runway. Oh, wait - we don't watch it anyway. Never mind. |
ASK
DOCTOR SCIENCE - A New Column!
|
|
RE-IMAGININGS, UGH. GOOD GOD...
What are they good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again, y'all! CALL
ME IDIOT
|
2008 QUOTE OF THE YEAR"You want a dark, Goth version of Tweety Bird? Have at it."---- Lisa Gregorian, Executive Marketing Vice President, Warner Brothers |
| 2008 MAN OF THE YEAR
HAL EUGENE ROACH - November Of all the sections on our site, the most popular this year, by a landslide, has been our Our Gang/Little Rascals Section. The man behind this beloved movie series is none other than Harold Eugene Roach, who also brought us Laurel and Hardy, Harold Lloyd, the Topper Movies and the classic 1939 film adaptation of John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Me. Each year, The Stuff You Gotta Watch
honors the person who's name and work show up most in Internet search
engines and drive the most traffic to this site. So this year, we
offer you Hal Roach, one of the greatest comedy producers to ever walk
the Earth. If he were alive today, we are sure he would not only
be proud, but also one hundred and eighteen years old. Here's to
you, Hal! Congratulations! |
REQUIEM IN PACE Some People Who Are No Longer With UsHeath Ledger, Roy Scheider, Arthur C. Clarke, Richard Widmark, Charlton Heston, Harvey Korman, Sydney Pollack, Bo Diddley, Tim Russert, George Carlin, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, Don La Fontaine, Anita Page, Paul Newman, Levi Stubbs, Michael Crichton, Forrest J. Ackerman |
If you
can say anything about 
*
Heather's face will be pasted into the cover of the classic Beatles
album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. After tense
negotiations, they settled on that empty space near the top next to
"Bowery Boy" Huntz Hall. Without the devil horns and Hitler
mustache Paul wanted added to her photo.
Last year, we stood proudly behind Jennifer Love Hewitt,
figuratively speaking. Well, metaphorically speaking would be a
better choice of words... whatever. The point is, she was
attacked by certain factions of the media for being overweight, and we
said about the media, in our very best Captain Picard voice: "They
invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we
fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no
further!" Well, maybe that part about assimilating worlds doesn't fit,
but, again, whatever. We came to the aid of a Jennifer. And
in 2008, we had to do it all over again for another Jennifer. To
quote a Monty Python sketch, we're not only proud of that, we're smug
about it.
And the idiocy from Hollywood keeps
on flowing, like
bitter, unstoppable sap from a sick and dying tree of
stupidity. (Hmm,
gotta remember that one.) Now they want to "reimagine" Herman
Melville's classic 
To paraphrase
Charles Dickens, it was a tough call, it was an easy call. In
2006, searches for Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy and The Grudge made our
choice of Woman of the Year easy. In 2007, searches for Lacey
Chabert and Mean Girls did the same. But in 2008, we kept
following our site stats month after month trying to discover a
popularity trend, but to no avail. We considered just naming a
Woman of the Year anyway, and for a while it was a tossup between
Christina Applegate for her courage and positive attitude in dealing
with cancer, and Rose McGowan for being the best co-host Robert Osborne
ever had on TCM's The Essentials. The only thing we did notice
was that the Our Gang section of this site was consistently our most
popular, but what who were we going to name? Darla? Miss
Crabtree? The scary woman from the orphanage who demanded the
gang put their milk on their mush and eat it? Then it hit us -
the Woman of the Year would be The Man of the Year! And it was
the late Hal Roach who broke the glass ceiling, shattering the
shameful sexism that has marred this site from the first time we posted
a gratuious filler photo of Scarlett Johansson. http://thestuffyougottawatch.com
Copyright © 2008 John V. Brennan, John Larrabee