Stuff You Gotta Watch's
(Or: Pure Skill,
Annoyance and
Retribution) |
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COME ON, GET HAPPY?
Producer Jeff Rake (Bones, The Practice) on an upcoming TV reimagining of the "family as a band" TV show The Partridge Family:
"In the original, the kids actually recruited their mom to front the
band, which I can't see happening in any family on this planet... The
new version will reflect what seems to me to be the more realistic
family band scenario these days: a struggling, sort of well-meaning mom
pimping her kids in order to create a wholesome - slash - sexy cash
cow."
God help us all.
SLEEPING BEAUTY AWAKES
The Disney Company has a policy that drives The Stuff You Gotta Watch
crazy - holding back some of its classic animated movies for seven
years and then releasing them on DVD for a limited time only.
This is a legitimate marketing strategy, to be sure, but we're
talking about the movie equivalent of Beatles albums or John Steinbeck
novels - works of art and perennial best-sellers (we haven't done
research on whether Steinbeck is still a perennial best-seller, but we
love him so we're using him, n'yah). Can you imagine going to a music
store and hearing the clerk say "I'm sorry. Sgt. Pepper
won't be available for another seven years. But we do have the new one
by Britney Spears."? Or going into a bookstore and hearing the
clerk say "Sorry, Of Mice and Men is no longer available but we do have The Complete Blog Entries of Rosie O'Donnell - Annotated Edition."? Anyway, to make a long story short (too late), Sleeping Beauty
is now available once again on DVD. If you are building a Disney
collection for your children (and if you aren't, you should be) (and if
you have no children, go out and buy some), now is the time to get Sleeping Beauty. The Stuff You Gotta Watch
calls it a "masterpiece" and a film that "has taken its place among the
most impressive animated classics." And, as you know, The Stuff You Gotta Watch is always right. Even if we did give Robot Monster four stars.
NOVEMBER HAS TIED ME TO AN OLD DEAD TREE
Believe it or not, the above headline is a lyric
to a Tom
Waits song, not, as many would imagine, an alternate title to a popular
Tony Orlando and Dawn song.
What this has to do with anything, we don't know, except to
say that
November is just around the corner, and you know what that
means. Okay, maybe you don't, so we'll tell you: it is the
month
when The Stuff You Gotta Watch
chooses its
Person of the Year. So far in our short and sad history, we've only
chosen women, and there's a good chance of that happening again.
What makes this year so interesting (to us at least - your
mileage may vary) is that according to our statistics, there is no
clear front-runner, unlike 2006 where Sarah Michelle Gellar
won hands
down and 2007 when Lacey Chabert
just squeaked by with a victory over
Robert Blake (thank God!). The Person of the Year is usually based on
celebrity names that bring the most traffic to this site, but this year
our stats have been all about Popeye and Our Gang.
Few
real-life celebrity searches have come across our radar, so we'll
probably be choosing the Person of the Year on an an entirely new
system which we like to call "Oh, My Lord, It's November Already and We
Have No Idea!". So enjoy October and after Halloween,
remember to
tune into this site to see who we chose.
STAR TREK THE WAY IT OUGHT TO BE
(NOTE: We just
opened up a Star Trek section, and already have four movie reviews
there). Thanks to a friend, I now have the
complete Star Trek
series on DVD and am enjoying it thoroughly. This is the
original
series starring William Shatner, and it is the set with the original
special effects. In 2006, CBS Paramount Domestic Television
began
"remastering" Star Trek
episodes, cleaning
them up, rerecording the music and, the big selling point, updating the
special effects. Instead of the original effects found in the
show, it was decided to give them the CGI treatment. so that many
special effect and background shots were completely redone
with
"state of the art" CGI graphics. From what I have read, most Star Trek
fans are happy with the decision. Purist that I am, I am not.
Film is history, and art, even popular art, should
be of its
time. We watch Star Trek,
and,
ironically, see back in time. We see what entertainment and culture was
like in the late sixties, including the state of special effects on
television. Do we need to really need to change them now
simply
because we can? It is said that today's audience is more
sophisticated and will not accept older things. That's not
sophisticated, that's dumbed down, spoiled and closed off to
anything that is more than five minutes old. These Star Trek episodes have been
running for years in
syndication, and have been always been popular. So what if
some
of the effects are cheesy or if some of the planets Captain Kirk and
crew land on are obviously sound stages? Part of the mass
affection for the show stems from the very fact that the stories,
characters and ideas of the series transcended any limitations in
special effects. Redoing the effects in Star
Trek may please fans, but it is
changing the show. What do we do next - add a
digital Brooklyn outside the window of the Kramden's
house in The Honeymooners
to replace the obviously phony backdrop? Digitally remake the
obvious painted backgrounds in The
Wizard of Oz? Colorize The
Maltese Falcon?
(Oh, wait, that's been done already).
The argument that
certain
techologies have advanced over the decades and that these new
technologies should be used to "improve" older movies and television
series does not impress me. Using that criteria, we might as well dub
in dialogue to classic silent movies because today's
sophisticated
audiences would expect Charlie Chaplin to speak. I know new
effects in an old TV series is not the most important topic we have to
worry about today, but it does annoy me. Then again, what
doesn't
annoy me? - JB
R.I.P. LEVI STUBBS
1936-2008
Oct. 18
Ever notice how you can recognize a Motown song on the radio
within seconds? Motown wasn't just a record label or a
sound, it was a feeling. It was a combination of
production,
melody, musicianship and vocalizing that sounded like nothing else.
Motown featured excellent songwrtiers such as Holland-Dozier
and
Smokey Robinson, and excellent singers, such as Levi Stubbs,
who
died October 17, 2008, at the age of 72. Stubbs,
lead singer
of The Four Tops, sang lead on such classics as "Standing in the
Shadows of Love", "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Pie)", "Reach
Out I'll Be There", "Ain't No Woman Like the One I've Got" and "It's
the Same Old Song", among many others.
ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES
Now that Disney has re-released Sleeping Beauty on DVD for a limited period, get ready for two more re-releases of Disney classics. Next year, Pinocchio and Snow White will both once again be available for purchase, for a limited time, of course. Pinocchio will be first early in the yeat 2009, followed by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in October. And for those of you who don't yet have The Little Mermaid in your collection, we suggest you get it while you can, because before Pinocchio is released, Mermaid
will be pulled from the market and sealed in the Disney vault. Again,
we wonder why Disney continues to follow this marketing plan,
considering the importance of these films and the lack of genuine
appropriate entertainment for kids these days. But then again, Disney
is no longer run by Walt, but by folks who want to squeeze out every
penny than can from Walt's products without actually keeping Walt's
products on the market. If Walt knew about this tactic, he'd probably
be spinning in his cryogenic chamber.
BEAM ME UP, HOTTIE 2008
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She's a protogé of Joss Whedon, having begun her television career as a one-shot character on Whedon's Angel. She then played River in the short-lived but well-loved Firefly as well as the movie Serenity. She's been in such shows as The Unit, The 4400 and CSI, but is now famous for playing terminator and John Connor protector Cameron Phillips on The Sarah Connor Chronicles. She's Summer Glau, and she's the winner of this year's Second Annual Stuff You Gotta Watch's Second Annual "Six of One, Seven of Nine of Another" Sci-Fi Hottie of the Year award, known in the industry as the "Jeri". She now joins Battlestar Galactica's Grace Park in our our Beam Me Up, Hottie Hall of Fame. We are sure they are both really proud of this accomplishment. At least we hope they are. I know we would be. If we were in any way talented, beautiful and famous and had our own sci-fi TV show. Which, as far as we know, we aren't and don't. |
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ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING...
So Please Forward His Checks
Oct. 29
Just in time for Halloween, Forbes Magazine has released their list of the Top Ten Highest Earning Dead Celebrities. Morbid, eh? Let's get at it.
1. Elvis Presley (singer) $52m
2. Charles M Schulz (cartoonist) $33m
3. Heath Ledger (actor) $20m
4. Albert Einstein (scientist) $18m
5. Aaron Spelling (tv producer) $15m
6. Dr Seuss (Theodor Geisel) (author) $12m
7. John Lennon (musician/songwriter) $9m
8. Andy Warhol (artist) $9m
9. Marilyn Monroe (actress) $6.5m
10. Steve McQueen (actor) $6m
While most of these figures and their earnings are self-explanatory, you may wonder how the great Albert Einstein has racked up such post-humous profits. It comes from the licensing of his name for the "Baby Einstein" line of toys and videos. Plus, unbeknownst to most people, the Einstein Estate gets a nickel for every time some guy does something stupid and his buddy turns to him and says "Nice going... Einstein!"
2008 QUOTE OF THE YEAR
The Quote That Best Sums Up How Hollywood Either Doesn't Get It or Just Doesn't Give a Damn Anymore
"You want a dark, Goth version of Tweety Bird? Have at it."
---- Lisa Gregorian, Executive Marketing Vice President, Warner Brothers
2008 MAN OF THE YEAR - HAL EUGENE ROACH
Nov 1
Of all the sections on our site, the most popular this year, by a landslide, has been our Our Gang/Little Rascals Section. The man behind this beloved movie series is none other than Harold Eugene Roach, who also brought us Laurel and Hardy, Harold Lloyd, the Topper Movies and the classic 1939 film adaptation of John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Me. Each year, The Stuff You Gotta Watch
honors the person who's name and work show up most in Internet search
engines and drive the most traffic to this site. So this year, we
offer you Hal Roach, one of the greatest comedy producers to ever walk
the Earth. If he were alive today, we are sure he would not only
be proud, but also one hundred and eighteen years old. Here's to
you, Hal! Congratulations!
HOLLYWOOD IS FULL OF CHUCKLEHEADS
Nov 4
The Three Stooges began their long and storied career in
1925.
For the next fifty years, they entertained audiences with their
well-timed lowbow comic antics. The concept of the Three
Stooges
essentially came to an end with the death of head Stooge Moe Howard in
1975. Together, all six "three" Stooges - Moe Howard, Larry
Fine,
Curly Howard, Shemp, Joe Besser and Curly-Joe DeRita - had a combined
three centuries or so (assume fifty years each) of show biz experience.
Three centuries of learning timing and refining comic routines, knowing
where the laughs are, knowing how long to hold, knowing when to fold...
so naturally the Farrelly Brothers assume they can just slap together a
new Three Stooges movie starring three people (cast yet unknown) who
are not the Three Stooges and call it a good thing. This is not just a
bad idea, it is an insulting one. Anybody remember Bronson
Pinchot and Gailard Sartrain in The All New Adventures of Laurel and
Hardy? No? Be thankful. The Farrelly Brothers
should be
stooge-slapped and dragged away by their noses with a monkey wrench.
R.I.P. MICHAEL CRICHTON
1942-2008
Author, screenwriter, director, producer and all-around renaissance man
Michael Crichton died yesterday after a long battle with cancer. He
specialized in techo-thrillers where the best laid plans of mice and
scientists go horribly wrong. Even people who don't know his
name
know of Crichton's stories: The
Andromeda Strain, The Terminal Man, Jurassic Park --- all best-selling
novels by Michael Crichton before they became hit movies. He
directed the films Westworld, Coma,
The
Great Train Robbery and Runaway,
among others. A graduate of Harvard Medical school, Crichton was also
the creator of the hit television series ER.
He was 66.
CHILLER EXPO, OCT. 2008
A few weeks ago, I went to my second Chiller Expo. It was not as much fun as the one I went to in May, because we arrived on the second day of the three-day expo and the lines were outrageously long. So while my friends stood in line to get autographs, I walked around and looked at merchandise. I actually found two movies I had been looking for for severals years, Bad Ronald and The Stepfather. And I also took several pictures, most of which came out blurry. But here is a shot of Robert Culp signing pictures. Not surprisingly, moments after this picture was taken, Peter Falk burst in and arrested Culp for all those murders he committed in Columbo episodes. (Just kidding - Falk did not show up - it's just a Columbo joke.) - JB
SOMEWHERE OVER THE CGI RAINBOW
John Boorman is planning a CGI-animated version of L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Fine. This story was filmed before and will be
filmed
again. So if Boorman, a talented director, wants to do it, so
be
it. But why does everybody always say the same thing when
remaking a beloved classic: "Given the technical
limitations of the day
[emphasis ours] and the demands of live action, the iconic MGM film
could only engage with a fraction of the novel. Animation will allow up
to explore the magical fantasy of the book and bring the array of
strange and frightening creatures to life." In other words,
"We
have CGI now!". Does anybody not see how those technical
limitations actually forced special effects artists to use their
brains, their hearts and their courage to the fullest extent in
creating magical worlds? Read about the special effects of 1939's The
Wizard of Oz
some time, and you'll walk away with nothing but awesome appreciation
for the MGM effects department. Now imagine the same movie in
your head where all the effects were done with CGI. The movie
in
your head stinks now, dunnit?
WE CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!
Nov 12
According to The Hollywood Reporter: "Ridley Scott, who has been attached as a producer on Monopoly
and has been mentioned as a possible director, is now officially
attached to helm the project, with an eye toward giving it a futuristic
sheen along the lines of his iconic Blade Runner." Yep. You read that correctly. The board game Monopoly. Ridley Scott. Futuristic sheen like Blade Runner. Monopoly. And people in Hollywood get paid for coming up with ideas like this.
GRATUITOUS FILLER PHOTO: LACEY CHABERT RETURNS!
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There is such a thing as the "Stuff You Gotta Watch Curse", in that everytime we have named a Person of the Year, they have virtually disappeared the following year. While we are certain that Hal Roach will be untouched by this curse, seeing as how our 2008 Man of the Year has been deceased for over two decades, we really felt bad when, after naming her our 2007 Woman of the Year, actress Lacey Chabert apparently vacated the planet we call Earth for all of 2008, leaving behind her only a handful of unreleased or straight to DVD movies. But just in the nick of time, our Lacey has returned, at the opening of a new Alberta Ferritti Flagship store, and looking quite as beauteous as the last time we saw her, which we can't even remember. We don't even know what they sell in an Alberta Ferretti store, but if we see one, we will shop there, or at least walk around pretending we are interested in the merchandise, in honor of their helping Lacey return to the public eye, at least for one night. |
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Copyright © 2008 John V. Brennan, John Larrabee